I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much, if to get it you have to hurt the ones you depend on. ", "Do you honestly think I don't know that? Bill: "Yeah it's a beautiful product." Kiss my ass. ", Russ: "Mom?" Removed the scene of Clark and Ellen discussing wanting to buy gifts for Cousin Eddie's kids. ", "Yeah well, I'm sure it's a lot of work too. Smaller? ", Russ: "You know dad, I've been thinking. Digitally cleaned up the snow to cover the visible cords used to create the fire trail. But, here if this gets dented, then my hair just ain't going to look right. It is warm in here. We're all in this together. It's not osmotic. Tis the season to be merry." ", "What? Uncle Lewis: "They didn't move into a new house! And, don't forget the rubber sheets and the gerbils. ", "So, when did you get the tenament on wheels? Ellen: "Oh, Aunt Bethany, you know you shouldn't hae done that." Clark: "Yeah, yeah, dug it out of the ground myself." ", "It's not going in our yard Russ. Viola!" ", "Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year. My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain...", "... is innocent. ", "Is there anything else I could do for you Uncle Lewis? Eddie: "Well, I can't lie to you Clark. ", Todd Chester (Nicholas Guest): "Hey Griswold, where do you think you're going to put a tree that big?" I was just blouse - browsing. " I was just smelling - smiling. I don't even..." Merry chirstmas. ", "The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith ond kin. ", "Yeah, yeah, dug it out of the ground myself. )", "That this was all my idea? Clark: "It's a one year membership in the jelly of the month club." Leave you for dead? Ahhh! See, over here, nothing. Kiss your ass. ", "That's a honey of a tree Clark. A little tree water ain't going to hurt him. ", "Well, can we at least forbid them to answer the phone? ", "And if you believe in him, and you believe in your mom, and you believe in your... your dad, and if you've been good all year round, Santa Clause is going to bring you something. ", "Oh, Uncle Lewis, you didn't have to buy me anything. Clark: "It's something else huh Russ?" Share to Facebook. Huh? ", "Well, I can't lie to you Clark. Clark: "Thanks Russ. ", Clark: "You're pretty set so far as shopping goes?" ", "Boy, these gusty winds appear to be playing havoc with the giant nutcracker float. Leave you for dead?" I'm going to pull around him and leave him safely behind us. as well as the second shot of the family under the truck. Clark: "Oh, do I? It's bigger than you expected? Clark: "We made pretty good time. Clark: "Ah, it's all part of the experience honey. She means presents; you shouldn't have brought presents. ", Eddie: "Art, you want to load me up with a little more there. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here, tonight. I've always wanted to do this." ", Clark: "By the way, I uh hope my report helped out at the trade show." ", "Now, come on; if you don't tell me what they want, I,ll go out and get it on my own. I had to sell off the house, the barn, the ten acres. Eddie: "Oh Clark, I couldn't do that." Clark Griswold. But, here if this gets dented, then my hair just ain't going to look right. I was just smelling - smiling. ", "Look, uh, sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. ", "Worse? This isn't charity; it's family." ", Clark: "(While whistling Joy to the World Clark notices the newelpost is loose. Clark: "(He tears up the Jelly of the month club membership aand drinks so egg nog.) Okay? Ellen: "It really is beautiful Clark." Just a real nice surprise. It's a light on the sewage treatment plant. Clark: "Yes sir, merry christmas. And, don't forget the rubber sheets and the gerbils. Not a log, I don't have a log. It's okay, it happens." Ellen: "Just in the living room.." ", "Where's Eddie? Look at the time. Do you hear it? Ellen: "Cathrine says, he's been holding out for a management position. ", TV Parade Announcer: "Boy, these gusty winds appear to be playing havoc with the giant nutcracker float. This is just a real nice surprise. This was a new challenge for it was finding ways to remove all swearing and adult themes from a movie without removing the core plot points since a lot of the adult … (As the new Griswold family Christmas tree comes crashing through their window. So, Carl, whatever you got last year, add 20 percent." She wrapped up her damn cat! I've gotten a bonus every year but this one. All changes are listed by their original timecodes, prior to the edit. Whoof! ", "It isn't everyday somebody moves into a new house. I mead a tree. Removed the entire scene of the neighbors discussing how they want to strip out of their clothes and make love to one another. Honey, why don't you run and get the kid's things. ", Clark: "Can I refil your eggnog for you? Clark: "He ought to know it's illegal. Nope. Clark Wilhelm Griswold, Jr. (Chevy Chase): "You want to ride behind someone who does something that? ", "What is it, a letter confirming your reservation at the nut house? And your house is always parked in the same place. Clark: "Pretty name Ed." (And the kids eyes light up with excitement. Eddie: "Is that a fact? Art: "What is it, a letter confirming your reservation at the nut house?" ", Removed the line "And when Santa squeezes his fat ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna see the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house. )", "Art, you want to load me up with a little more there. ", Ellen: "What are you looking at?" Removed the audio of Clark shouting "dammit" twice and replaced it with sound effects of the cord rustling. That's good. Clark: "We needed a tree." I got to get to bed, brush my teeth, feed the hog. All sound files are for educational, research, criticism, or review for movie purchase purposes. ", "I had to have it replaced, because everytime Cathrine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about a half-hour or so. So, I replaced it as best I could. I mean you know. Mr. Shirley: "Bonus? Eddie: "Yeah, it sure does. Aunt Bethany: "Is this the airport Clark?" Snots, you roll over and let Uncle Clark scratch you belly. ", Eddie: "Merry Christmas, bleepter was full! The man was was wearing a blue leisure suit. This tree is a symbol of the spirit of the Griswold family christmas. Ellen: "Clark, I think it's best if everyone just goes home, before things get worse." Clark: "Oh no no no, she's not dead. Mary: "Oh god, I'm so sorry." Clark: "Amen!" No, no. ", "I'm sure he'll fall. Nobody's leaving. Clark: "Yes honey?" It is goooood! Share to Tumblr. Merry chirstmas. Eddie: "No, I'm doing just fine Clark. A word of warning though: If he does lay into you, it's best to just let him finish. ", "I con't believe you're actually standing here in my living room Eddie. ", "Where do you think you're going? I'll be more than happy to take the rap on this, on behalf of myself and on behalf of every other employee you rear-ended this Christmos. ", "No, I'm doing just fine Clark. Art: "You're Goofy." Not a log, I don't have a log. Share to iMessage. Eddie, it was my fault. ", "I love it here. Fixed the newelpost! Clark: "Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn. Yeah, she's ugly as sin, but a sweet gal. Removed the line "Laimens terms, none of that inside bullshit jargon nobody understands.". jeez! Removed the line "She wrapped up her damn cat.". ©2002 - 2020 Copyright Ghost-Hat Network. But, don't you go falling in love with it now, because, we're taking it with us when we leave here next month. I never thought the day would come. We live in it. Where's the Tylenol? Clark: "No bleep! He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol. I mead a tree. Clark: "Eddie, Ellen and I want to help you give the kids a nice Christmas." Aunt Bethany: "Grace? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of an important call. It creats a surface 500 times more slippery than any cooking oil. ", Clark: "This is what Crritsmas is all about. ", "Oh, Aunt Bethany, you know you shouldn't hae done that. ", Eddie: "Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic, getting cured off the Wild Turkey. ", "Yes, it's a bit nippely out. That's good. ", "Ah, it's all part of the experience honey. He was a huge, beastly, bulging man and...", "I have never been treated like this in my life. ", "Oh yeah. ", Clark: "So, when did you get the tenament on wheels?" It's a good looking vehicle, ain't it? Clark: "Don't piss me off Art." I mean, even though they're dirty and messy and corny and cliche." National Lampoons. Her eyes are frozen." Do you sleep with your brother? Mary: "For your wife or your girlfriend?" We're just divorced. If I had a rubber hose, I would beat you into a..." Clark: "College?" ", "In seven years, he couldn't find a job? Clark: "Oh, Arthur, Art, Dad, thanks for being here."

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